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The 2019 Muddy Stilettos Awards

24th April - 22nd May 2019

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Property flirt: leapfrog into this farming fantasy


If you’ve never played Property Flirt before (and if not, what have you been doing with your surfing time?), welcome to one of the most popular bits of Muddy Stilettos, where I show you round a mega des res in Surrey, and you guess the price. The winner gets to go on a romantic night out with Kevin McCloud.

You ready to rumble? Get ready to be charmed.


Here we have Froggats Cottage, found at the end of a long driveway near Alfold, five miles south of Cranleigh. It’s right on the West Sussex border, about half way between Horsham and Guildford, and sits up on a bit of a hill surrounded by farmland and woods. It’s pretty rural, as you can see. Yup, views don’t come much better than this.


The cottage is a recreation of the historic Wealden hall house, a type of medieval timber-framed hall-house more often seen in parts of Kent and East Sussex. History buffs might be interested to know that this house was built about 20 years ago from what was then a dilapidated and overgrown (but Grade II-listed) two-room cottage called Upper Oakland Cottage, which back in its day (I’m talking the late 1300s, and before it was destroyed by fire) had been a pretty substantial and fancy-pants house.

The cottage was rebuilt using green oak cut from the surrounding woodland, and – yes – there’s quite a lot of it. Inside, there’s a central passage and a vaulted section which separates the original two-room cottage with the newer section.




The sitting room, with inglenook fireplace

There’s big old boot room – handy when you’re surrounded by all that farmland – and a study. The vaulted section is home to the kitchen-diner-living area, and off that is sitting room with a gorgeous inglenook fireplace, and cosy family room.



Upstairs there are five bedrooms split over the first and second floors, and two bathrooms, plus a galleried sitting area-cum-library that overlooks the kitchen-family room below. The master bedroom has a walk-in wardrobe and an ensuite shower room.


There are two acres of grounds that includes a patio and barbecue area, formal gardens, fenced paddocks, your very own woodland area and a pretty pond.

There’s also an oak-framed five-bay barn that has a carport with space for two cars, and a two story annexe with a small kitchen, sitting room, bedroom and shower room – ideal for guests or, um, that Man Friday you might need to keep the garden and grounds under control. In a second barn there’s more space for cars, and a workshop, and a log store.


Fancy buying yourself into this life? Yeah me too (*dabbing eyes gently*). But how much will it cost you? No cheating – work out the price you think it’s worth, consult, lay your bets and see how close you get. Then check on where your nearest bank is and start planning your raid.


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