Comedian, author, mental health warrior Ruby Wax is the ultimate female role model – funny, sassy, but still a girls’ girl. She’s one of us. We caught up with her at the start of her UK tour, which includes Dorking Halls on Wed 22 May.

Ruby’s TV persona is bold. Some might call her style brash but this is an easy trope levelled at those who hail from the other side of the pond. Now unbelievably at the start of her seventh decade, Ruby has spent way more time here than in the States. She’s an honorary Brit.

Real life Ruby is sweet, kind, warm and above all self-deprecating. She’s a laugh a minute – every bit as funny as I hoped she’d be and perhaps more. She arrived seemingly nervous, which instantly put me at ease. I reminded her that auditoriums filled with thousands would be her existence for the next few months; “That’s my happy place,” she replied.

Finding that happy place hasn’t always been easy. Her struggle with her mental health is well documented and 2022 marked Ruby’s first serious depression episode for 12 years. She’s been on quite a journey, as she describes in her new book, I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was.

She’d always created a ‘front’ to give everyone the illusion that all was well when it really wasn’t, and still isn’t. Now she looks back thinking, “what the f*ck was that all about?” She tried to find meaning via assorted various, life-changing experiences including living in a monastery and swimming with humpback whales, in an effort to find all and faith and compassion – all the sort of stuff that she hoped would flip what she describes as her ‘shallow life’ but she ended up in mental clinic. The book’s a record of what happened after what she describes as a “mental car crash”. Her journey had to turn inward because “it turns out I wasn’t looking for meaning, I was looking for home.”

These days, trying to stay sane in a chaotic world makes life incredibly difficult so we arrived back to talking about Ruby’s happy place – the stage. Ruby views life on stage much like a sport – a chance to flex her brain. When that stops and this focus disappears is when anxiety over what to do with herself kicks in. Daily meditation sessions definitely help.

She was so unwell in 2022, it’s nothing short of a miracle that Ruby managed to not only complete a book and take her experiences on the road – and hats off for that. She said that no-one knows for sure the reason for poor mental health but “if you’ve got too much cortisol kicking in, then good luck.”

The eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy she underwent helped the healing process. A psychogical treatment that’s been found to reduce the symptoms of PTSD, Ruby refers to past trauma EMDR therapy but didn’t give any more details.

To many, Ruby is a doyenne of comedy. She considers herself a story teller and I would agree. The ability to put life experiences into words that take people with you is a gift. Ruby has it.

The late Alan Rickman was her mentor and friend. She refers to Lum – Joanna Lumley. Famously having worked with French & Saunders, Ruby is available to discuss future projects (if you’re listening, ladies). Jimmy Carr is a hero – “he’s a genius” – but she doesn’t understand the national interest in Michael McIntyre.

Royal Shakespeare trained, Ruby’s heart certainly doesn’t lie in the direction of straight acting. She doesn’t think she’s much cop at the art. She does, however, love to write and is open to suggestions for the subject matter of her next book. Any ideas?

Ruby Wax is on a UK-wide tour until the end of September 2024.

Words by Paloma Lacy

Muddy meets: Ruby Wax

You may also like