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The Muddy Guide: 20-26 Oct

Hal Cruttenden: Straight Outta Cruttenden, at Dorking Halls, Thurs 20 Oct


You’ll probably have caught Hal Cruttenden on Radio 4 or as the host of Live at the Apollo on the telly.  This week, however, he’s live at Dorking with his latest stand-up show, ranting about the evils of the modern world — over-sharing on social media (yeah, I do that) and the 5:2 diet (nope, don’t do that one).  Quite grown-up content, so leave even your teens at home. Tickets are £19.50.

Dorking Halls, Reigate Road, Dorking, RH4 1SJ. Tel: 01306 881717.


The Mousetrap, at Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford, Mon 24 – Sat 29 Oct


The Mousetrap is the longest running theatre show in Britain – having been on the West End since 1952. And now this thriller coming to Guildford, so if you haven’t yet seen it, this is your chance. It’s an Agatha Christie classic whodunnit, set in a country house that’s been cut off after a snow storm.  Tickets are £23 – £34.50.

Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook, Guildford, GU1 3UX. Tel: 01483 44 00 00.


Pete Firman: Trix, at Rhoda McGaw Theatre, Woking, Sun 23 Oct


Star of BBC1’s The Magicians, Pete brings his new show straight from the Edinburgh Festival. Expect his trademark blend of comedy, illusions and magic. Another one with fairly grown up content, so leave the teens and kiddos at home. Tickets are £17.60.

Rhoda McGaw Theatre, The Ambassadors, Peacocks Centre, Woking, GU21 6GQ, Tel: 0844 871 7645.


James Acaster: Reset Overview, at Rhoda McGaw Theatre, Woking, Wed 26 Oct


Another comedian, another comedy tour. He’s won various awards, from the Chortle Best Show and Best Breakthrough Act, last year, and has been Edinburgh Comedy Award Best Show nominee several times. The Evening Standard calls him a ‘comic genius’, while Time Out says he’s rewriting the comedy rule book. Sounds like a show worth seeing! Tickets are £17.05. Show starts at 8pm.

Rhoda McGaw Theatre, The Ambassadors, Peacocks Centre, Woking, GU21 6GQ, Tel: 0844 871 7645.


The Crafters’ Market, at St Marks Church Hall, Reigate, Sat 22 Oct


Set up by two crafters called Little Bean and The Flower Girl who didn’t have anywhere amazing to take their gorgeous wares, this monthly crafters’s market is a little treasure trove of finds. I skipped along to the one in July and there’s plenty to be found, from handmade jewellery, children’s clothing, and hand drawn illustrations, to paper flowers, soft furnishings and cupcakes. It’s on from 1pm – 3.45pm. Entry is free.

St Marks Hall, 8 Alma Road, Reigate, RH2 0DA.


Circus of Horrors, at the Harlequin Theatre, Redhill, Mon 24 Oct


Apparently Simon Cowell is a big fan, as is David Hasselhoff. The show that made the finals of Britain’s Got Talent and  was the first circus to appear in the West End for 100 years, now brings its 21st anniversary tour to the Harlequin Theatre in Redhill. The Never-ending Nightmare, features an amalgamation of bizarre and brave acts, woven into an Alicei n Horrorland type story, performed win a forked tongue firmly in each cheek! Tickets are £18 – £23.

The Harlequin Theatre, Warwick Quadrant, Redhill, RH1 1NN. Tel: 01737 276 500.


The Giant’s Loo Roll, at Dorking Halls, Wed 26 Oct


You can’t go past toilet humour to make kids laugh. And here the team that brought you the festive musical Father Christmas Needs a Wee, brings the biggest loo roll ever onto the stage. The villagers living in the town below the giant’s house had better watch out as the loo roll has gone bouncing down the hill straight towards them. Luckily they find plenty of uses for the paper. Ticketsa re £13.50 adults, £11.50 kids, £44 family (2 kids, 2 adults). The show is on at 2.30pm.

Dorking Halls, Reigate Road, Dorking, RH4 1SJ. Tel: 01306 881717.


Pride and Prejudice, at the New Victoria Theatre, Woking, Tues 25 – Sat 29 Oct

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE by Austen, , Writer - Jane Austen, Director - Deborah Bruce, Designer - Max Jones, Composer - Lillian Henley, Lighting - Tina MacHugh, Sound - Matt McKenzie, Churchill Theatre, Bromley,2016, Credit - Johan Persson - /

Photo credit – Johan Persson

Matthew Kelly and Felicity Montagu star as Mr and Mrs Bennet in this adaptation of the Jane Austen classic. This tour follows sell-out performances and rave reviews at Regent’s Park Theatre in London. We all know the story of the Bennet sisters’ search for love – and if you’re an Austen fan, this is a no-brainer. Tickets are £15 – £37.75.

New Victoria Theatre, The Ambassadors, Peacocks Centre, Woking, GU21 6GQ, Tel: 0844 871 7645.


Buddy Holly and the Cricketers, at The Camberley Theatre, Wed 26 Oct


Buddy Holly And The Cricketers is the longest consecutively running, Buddy Holly show in the world, having been going for for 15 years. Apparently it’s not a tribute act, but a mix of music with improvised and scripted comedy hosted by some of the finest actor-musicians in the business. If you’re a Buddy Holly fan, you could do worse! Tickets are £19.50. The show tarts at 7.30pm.

Camberley Theatre, Knoll Road, Camberley, GU15 3SY. Tel: 01276 707600.


The Bon Jovi Experience, at the Leatherhead Theatre, Sat 22 Oct


If you can’t see there real Jon, then Tony Pearce is a pretty good likeness. He must be okay, because he’s the only tribute band in the world to have shared the stage with the real Bon Jovi. This show includes all the hits, Living On A Prayer, You Give Love A Bad Name, Bed of Roses, Always, Bad Medicine, It’s My Life and many many more. Get your leathers out and Keep The Faith! Tickets re £20. Show starts at 7.30pm

The Leatherhead Theatre, 7 Church St, Leatherhead KT22 8DN. Tel: 01372 365141. 


Sandown Park Festive Gift Fair, at Sandown Park, Esher, Sat 22 & Sun 23 Oct


It might seem a little early to bet thinking about the big C, but time’s a ticking people, and before you know it the jolly old man will be making his way down our chimneys. There will be more than 120 stalls offering a range of unique gifts and crafts including jewellery, clothing, candles, soaps, scarves, toys, fine foods and much more. Entry is £5.

Sandown Park Racecourse, Portsmouth Road Esher, KT10 9AJ. Tel: 01487 814800.


Romantic Masterpieces, at Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Sun 23 Oct


Crisp melodies, rich harmonies and bright stars characterise Southern Pro Musica’s first concert of their Autumn Season. Full of familiar works from greatly loved composers, complemented by solo talents from two of the finest young string players in England today – Savitri Grier on violin and  Indira Grier on cello. It’s conducted by Jonathan Willcocks (above).

Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook, Guildford, GU1 3UX. Tel: 01483 44 00 00.


The Chris and Pui Show, at the Epsom Playhouse, Wed 26 Oct


CBeebies’ favourite double act bring their new stage show to Epsom, along with all the toys and characters from the TV programme Show Me, Show Me. With lots of songs, sketches and a dash of magic, and of course, plenty of joining in – this is a family show aimed at kids from two up. There are two shows on the day: at 11am and 2pm. Tickets are £10

Epsom Playhouse, Ashley Avenue, Epsom, Surrey, KT18 5AL. Tel: 01372 724555.


The Vulgar: Fashion Redefined, Barbican Art Gallery, London, until 5 Feb 2017


Vulgar, you say? I’m so there. The Vulgar: Fashion Redefined questions notions of vulgarity in fashion while revelling in its excesses, inviting the visitor to think about exactly what makes something vulgar and why it is such a sensitive and contested term. Drawn from major public and private collections worldwide, with contributions from leading modern and contemporary designers such as Christian Dior, Iris van Herpen, Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton, Stephen Jones, Christian Lacroix, Prada, Jeremy Scott for Moschino, Philip Treacy, Viktor & Rolf and Vivienne Westwood, it has Muddy Stilettos written all over it.



Bloomsbury Festival, various venues in Bloomsbury, London WC1, until Sun 23 Oct


Bloomsbury Festival returns with events inspired by the theme of ‘language’ – from computer code to the language of food, music and dance. Events will be popping up in the streets, parks, museums, galleries, laboratories, public and usually private buildings of this vibrant part of London. There’s a street party with a twist, breakfast talks, classical concerts, sound and visual art installations plus more.




Mark Steel: Who Do I Think I Am, at Farnham Maltings, Fri 25 Nov


Author, TV regular, Indy columnist and comedian, Mark Steel’s newest stand up show tells a surprising and poignant story about being adopted and about his search for his biological parents, following the birth of his own son. Tickets are £15, or with pre dinner dining £23. The show starts at 8pm.

Farnham Maltings, Bridge Square, Farnham, GU9 7QR. Tel: 01252 745444.


Tiff Stevenson: Seven, at G Live in Guildford, Sat 5 Nov


There are hundreds of stand-up comics in the world, but most of them are men. Tiff is a refreshing break from the masculinity that runs strong in the world of funny people. Her show, Seven, was inspired by a gig she did in David Lynch’s nightclub in Paris last year, just a month before the Bataclan attacks. Here she explores our need to make huge world events about us, and delves into morality, modernity, vanity, mental health, film reboots and, um, clouds. Not all heavy stuff then! Tickets are £14. Show starts at 8pm.

G Live, London Road, Guildford, GU1 2AA. Tel: 01483 369350.

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