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The 2019 Muddy Stilettos Awards

24th April - 22nd May 2019

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Property flirt: it’s a biggie

Well hello there sexy! Uh, I meant the house, but ok, you too.


Well, this is the most expensive Property Flirt I’ve written about so far, giving a little ‘Hey Big Spender’ sequins and shimmy to proceedings. We’re talking six double bedrooms, five bathrooms (yes, really), five reception rooms, a gym, tennis court, swimming pool, stables, a separate guest cottage and roughly 12 acres of grounds. Want to take a sneaky peek? Of course you do.


What more to tell you? The Mill House is in a rural setting in Billingshurst, just a hop, step and jump across the border into West Sussex. Horsham is just eight miles away and Guildford is just 15 miles away. There are fast rail links to London from Guildford, Milford and Gatwick Airport, which are all about 15 miles away. Plus, it’s school-bodacious with The Weald School, Pennthorpe and Farlington on your doorstep, and Cranleigh School, Arundel, Seaford College, the Duke of Kent and Hurtwood House a little further away. Want to see more? Have a quick shifty at these reception rooms…





If you need a few more clues, then I should say that money really has not been spared on this place. The original house is thought to date from 1766, but over the years it has been extensively altered and enlarged. The most recent works, over the past five years, include the oak panelled snug with the carved oak feature fireplace, a gorgeously light orangery with a quirky glass covered well and French doors out to a terrace, and the beautiful dining room with beamed ceiling and inglenook fireplace. God I love that fireplace!


The luxury fitted kitchen by Plain English (*swoon*) has integral NEFF appliances and an island bench… this is top end stuff so don’t hold back.

Hmmmm. Where next? There’s so much to show you. Upstairs there are six bedrooms, the main with its own dressing room and enormous ensuite bathroom. I think I’d lock the kids in the cellar (yes, there is one) and hide up here forever, perhaps calling on Kevin, the butler, to bring fruit, wine and chocolate biscuits from time to time. Oh, and wood for the fire! *sigh*



Or, maybe not. Because outside there are several acres of landscaped gardens, a tennis court, swimming pool and a barn which includes garages, an office and gym. The house, barn and the guest cottage (more on that in a moment) is heated with a fancy fang-dangle new biomass boiler which runs on wood pellets.





Naturally there’s a long sweeping private driveway leading up to the house, with a separate spur leading onto the cottage and stables. The cottage has been converted from original brick barn to the highest of specs, with a living room, kitchen, two bedrooms and two bathrooms; the perfect place to park the in-laws when they come to stay. Although, fair warning, they may never leave.



And so for the money shot. What do you think it’s on the market for? Well, find out if you got it right here. As always, the person within £10k of the price gets a month long all expenses trip to the Turks & Caicos. Of course I’m joking – if you can afford to buy this place then you can buy your own flipping holiday! Cheeky.

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